Richard Maun – Stroking Exercise

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Stroking Exercise

29 March 2015

I love strokes.

Not the nasty medical ones you understand, I’m referring to the Transactional Analysis ones. A stroke, in TA terms, is a unit of recognition – a smile, a wave, a doughnut (what are donuts eh!?), a ‘well done’, a ‘love you’ …including hugs and kisses.

Now, some of these you can offer people at work and remember to keep within your accepted cultural boundaries…we don’t want to scare anyone with sudden deep fried dough-based treats.

It’s a truism that ‘what you stroke grows’ – if we say nice things to people they tend to warm to us and vice versa. So it’s up to us to decide how much loveliness we want to put into the world. Personally I’d say ‘a lot’ was about the right amount.

Here’s a fun exercise for today. Write a list of 10 people in your life – they can be partners, colleagues, family members and/or friends. Then for each person ask yourself: Over the last two weeks have I given this person more lovely strokes than they are have given me? Or do I owe them a few kind words, or a smile or two?

If you owe them a stroke them make a note of what and when you will do something. If they owe you, then it’s Ok to ask them to make the tea, share their cake, or give you a hug. A hug you ask for is still a hug – try it and you’ll see what I mean.

A rich world is full of loving and thoughtful strokes of recognition and if there is someone who you know you tend to ignore, maybe change your ways and find time to include them. They do know you’re ignoring them, they will have an awareness of it.

So, how did you do with your list? Who is going to be getting an extra big ‘thank you’ this week?

Oh and finally…remember to stroke yourself…have fun!

Next week: I’ll Have a P Please Bob


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