better business blog

Tips and stories to add value to you and your organisation

Asking For Help

2 April 2017

One of the things that struck me about school life, many many years ago, was that when faced with difficulty we were encouraged to put our hand up and ask Miss (or Sir) for some help.

Sounds obvious really as teachers do not want children sitting there struggling in silence. As a parent I encourage my children to ask for help if they are stuck and, if they look pensive, I offer them the opportunity to ask for support.

My own parents were helpful and would support me with homework, learning to ride a bicycle and during the treacherous annual fancy dress competition at the church fete. Which I would always lose. I’m over it now and hardly ever mention it.

Where was I? Ah yes, asking for help.

Of course we may have memories of asking for help and being refused, or ridiculed. Perhaps we had a defining moment at home, or at school, when help was sorely needed and instead of a sympathetic and kindly teacher we were faced with an obnoxious and smug adult bully. We may have made a decision that asking for help was not a good idea as it brought a dangerous spotlight onto us, or we learned that there is no point in asking for help as none ever came and we could have saved our breath.

However, whatever our experience we can realise that it was then, and life isn’t the same now. Back then we were small, powerless and maybe voiceless too. Nobody would listen to us. Now though, we are grown up and adult and have a voice and friends and people within our network who may be useful to us.

We can act the age we are now and we can make a decision to leave the past in the past. We can decide to be resourceful. We can chose to find our voice and be heard. We can ask for help, or support, or for some training.

In my own case I need support. I have a new toy for the Summer, in the shape of a boat. I know nothing about boats, but have always wanted one, since I was a small eight year old coach-to-be. So, having bought the vessel (how big does something need to be in order to be called a vessel, I wonder) I now need to learn about hitches and fenders and spring lines and stop-cocks and something mysterious called the air draft. I assume this last term doesn’t refer to me dropping the canopy down on a breezy day. In the spirit of joyful ignorance I have been mining the boat yard and my nautical chums for tips and pointers and knowledge about tides and equipment. I have been enjoying asking for help, because to have fun boating you don’t need to know what you’re doing. You just need a boat and the ability to ask lots of questions.

So, this week, what issues and difficulties are you facing, which have been glaring at you from your in-box? If you’ve picked up the item and looked at it more than once, then you might need to ask someone for support. And remember, if you don’t ask …you don’t get!

Happy asking!

Next week: Alignment Is Ace