Author: admin

In adversity there are often little nuggets of gold that we can miss, if we don’t look for them. To find the gift, doesn’t mean someone offering us clichés or platitudes. Instead it means that perhaps we have been presented with a new opportunity, that life isn’t really as bad as it seems, or that we can learn from the situation.

Last year, as I have written about before, my dear nephew William passed away suddenly. Now, to say there is a gift in this might sound crushingly insensitive as there is nothing worse than the death of a child. However, our loss has reminded me that no matter how much my children are annoying or cantankerous (as kids can be) I can always kiss them. One kiss is riches beyond measure – and that has helped me to maintain a grounded perspective when life is fraught.

Take some time this week to think through a tricky situation you are faced with and see if you can find the gift in there. You might be pleasantly surprised, when you adopt a positive mind set! (This has worked for me in many situations).

Next week: What Is Work?

Most people know how to soothe a baby. Give them a cuddle, or play with them, or stroke their hair until they fall asleep on your tummy. Ahhh…happy memories. However, what can we do as an adult when we’re on our own, perhaps because we are away from home, stuck at work, or home alone for a while?

Self soothing is the act of taking care of ourselves. We can use it to help us to come to terms with difficult feelings, or the effects of being tired, or to help us to regain focus ahead of making a difficult decision. Here are four ways we can find comfort:

A) Hug a pillow. The act of hugging activates our autonomous nervous system apparently and releases hormones which help to create a feeling of peace and calm. Get a big pillow, or a cushion, and give it a squeeze!

B) Throw eggs at a wall. Sometimes we need to be active to allow feelings to surface and to flow away. Smashing a dozen eggs has that added sense of joyful destruction about it that can help us to let go of frustrations. If you don’t want to throw them at a wall, take a walk into the woods and blast away at a tree that you’ve taken a dislike to!

C) Write a letter and burn it. There are times when we need to get the words out of us and writing is always a good way to let rip. We can write at speed and with energy and with the most terrible (and accurate) language – being in touch with our anger is a powerful way to deal with it. Write the letter and then find a safe way to burn it and let the words float away in the universe.

D) Mindful 5 Minutes. We can find a safe space to sit in, such as our bedroom, or car, and with our eyes closed can notice our breathing and all the sounds around us. Nothing else for five whole minutes except concentrated listening. A real tonic when we’re stressed!

Self soothing is for grown ups who need to take care of themselves. I particularly like taking a mindful five minutes and have found that afterwards I feel like having stepped out from a warm shower. Lovely!

Whatever strategies we have for ourselves, we can know that we are okay – we all need soothing sometimes.

Next week: Find The Gift