Author: admin

Nature abhors a vacuum. That’s why space is full of planets and stars and gravity. It’s the same with humans, our speech is peppered with errs and umms and often we can’t wait for the other person to finish, so we can dive in and share our thinking.

However, if we want to make an impact, sell our point, or invite someone to think then silence is the key.

We can hold the silence and give them space to think and reflect and feel the depth of our emotion.

Here’s a fun exercise to sensitise us to the power of silence….

Sit in a safe space. Look at the exact time. Now close your eyes and count to 60 seconds. Open your eyes. How much time has elapsed? 45, 65, 95 seconds?

How did it feel to count for a minute?

When I do this with groups there is always a variation in how long people can estimate a minute of time. It shows us how people perceive time differently and how one person might need 10 seconds of silence to think in, whilst someone else might need 25 seconds.

So, the next time you want to make an impact, fall silent and give them a minute to think….and let them decide how long a minute really is!

Next week: A Useful TA Book

Here is a simple coaching technique to have fun with. When we get a bit bogged down in the middle of a conversation, or are trying to wrap up at the end of one, we can make the mistake of talking. It’s a mistake because this doesn’t give us any information about the other person we are with and if they really agree with us or not. If we ask them ‘do you agree’ they may say ‘yes’ to keep the peace and in reality are actually thinking ‘no.’

Instead of us talking, there is more value to be had in inviting them to talk. We can ask them:

‘So, what’s in your head?’

Or

‘What’s your thinking here?’

Or

‘Can you summarise what you’re taking away from this conversation?’

Or

‘Can you run through what you will be doing next?’

Inviting people to disclose gives us useful information and means we are less likely to exit the conversation with a misunderstanding between us.

So, this week have fun asking people to summarise!

Next week: How Long Is A Minute?