Category: Uncategorized

This a strange time. We are adapting to a new way of life, that we all have no experience of. Shops have bare shelves. There’s no school.

It sounds like the plot of a disaster movie (or film, as I insist on calling them, being of a certain age).

And despite the uncertainty that surrounds us, life must go on.

It’s heartening to see so many pubs and eateries turning themselves into impromptu take-aways and sharing their delicious menus on social media.

Being proactive is the only thing to do, when faced with a crisis.

There’s an old saying that runs thus:

“The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time, is today.”

All the businesses out there who are facilitating home working, changing their service offering, working hard to support anxious staff and soothing nervous customers are all planting trees.

It will be interesting to see how many of the changes stick, over the long term. Restaurants will hopefully create new and loyal customers, who love the take-aways.

Once people settle into a pattern of home working, they may find they don’t want to go back to an office life. Businesses will change again and realise they can offer more flexible working patterns to people and perhaps reduce the size of their head office block and save money.

And amongst all this we need to ask:

“Who is our friend?”

Which businesses have been supportive of their staff and reassured them?

If we have to cancel tickets for hotels, or flights, which organisations have made it easy to do and done so with good grace?

Who is being helpful to the community?

In times of crisis we find out who are real friends are. Who is caring? Who supports us? Who values us as long term customers?

We can also ask ourselves if we are being a good friend to others.

A colleague was wondering if her business was going to survive and if she should pay the consultants who worked for her, or hang onto the money for herself.

I gently suggested that hanging on to the money was bad business. Paying our debts is at the top of ethical business practice and if we default on them people will remember for a long time.

It’s good karma to think of others and not just pull up our drawbridge and leave others out in the cold.

I hope she pays her debts, because she will need friends in the future.

So, this week we can all take a breath, think for a moment and ask ourselves just how friendly we are being to others in business?

And as a friend reminded me last week:

“It will be okay in the end and if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

I like that. It’s good to be optimistic and it’s good to be friendly towards others.

Otherwise, what’s the point of being in business?

Keep well. Stay safe.

Next week: A Brilliant Model For Home Working

I love words. They are a window into our thinking and to how we see ourselves in relation to the world.

If two people look out of the same window they will notice different things. One might spot the clouds and say ‘aha, miserable weather on the way.’ The other may see the sun peeking through and say ‘hoho the sun is coming, let’s go for a walk!’

Two people with the same window and two different mindsets.

We all have our own views and that’s okay. Sometimes though, they can become extreme and can get in the way of us making progress with an issue.

Have you ever met someone who likes to exaggerate, or catastrophize?

The world is against them and nobody understands them. Everyone is criticising them. There’s nothing they can do about that. They’re the only person who feels this way and it’s impossible to make any changes at all.

This kind of ‘talking in extremes’ is known as grandiosity.

Their world is distorted into all or nothing. There’s no mid-point and their words are very binary.

Grandiosity is always worth challenging, in a gentle way. Such as…

‘Really? Every single person is against you?’

‘Well, not everyone.’

‘Then who are these people? Be specific. How many people exactly?’

‘Um…two people.’

‘And does that mean a few people agree with you?’

‘Maybe. Haven’t thought about it like that before. When you put it like that, I suppose not everyone is against me.’

…And so on.

I tend to think that people who talk in grandiose terms are all about me-me-me in as much as they put themselves in a high place, with the rest of us struggling to engage with them.

Binary, or exaggerated, thinking doesn’t allow people to explore new options and they can stay trapped by their views on the world around them.

The next time one of our colleagues talks in grandiose terms we can listen carefully, spotting key words, as evidence, and then ask questions to invite a sensible reality check. Then we can explore options with them and encourage them to act in new ways.

Words are windows. We can all increase our awareness of what others are really saying to us and we can find gentle ways to challenge people.

This week we can all have fun spotting grandiosity.

Next week: Who Is Your Friend?