Author: admin

Are you busy? I expect so! In fact I don’t seem to know any adults who are not busy and rushed off their feet with work and life! I’m so busy I can’t even take time to write a long blog so a short one will have to do. Oh no! Almost out of time already and haven’t got to my point yet. See! I’m so busy I used the word ‘got’, which will have my old English teacher frothing into his cocoa. I should have said ‘reached’ or ‘arrived at’ or something a bit more writerly. And I’ve now noticed I’m too busy for paragraphs as well. Oh dear, this is all too frantic. Which is the point of the blog – I’ve recently had to admit that I am too busy with client work and now need to delegate three important administrative tasks. Once I realised that I could not do it all (and in fact wasn’t doing it all and had not done so for some time) then delegating them was like a breath of fresh air and took a big puff of steam out of the boiler (to mix metaphors). If you’re too busy for paragraphs, or for thoughtful prose, isn’t time you found help and support? If it’s good enough for the Queen (I’m sure she doesn’t vacuum Buckingham Palace all on her own, I bet she has a helper) then it’s good enough for us. Don’t delay – delegate today!

Next week: Over Thinking (Avoid)

In the late 1980’s a researcher by the name of John Gottman (Ref: Flourishing, Maureen Gaffney 2011) identified the secret to successful marriages. After extensive research of happy and unhappy couples he concluded that there was a magic ratio of interactions. This was set precisely at:

5:1

Which means that for every cross word, or frustrated outburst, or disappointed outcome there needed to be five positive interactions. These could be a warm smile, a passionate kiss, a conflict solved with harmony, an unconditional act of kindness, or a feeling of being appreciated, heard or understood.

If the ratio dropped to 4:1 and below then couples started to fall into a downward spiral of negativity that could ultimately end in divorce. Our task, therefore, is to keep the ratio at 5:1 and then success will follow!

Eye contact played a big part in generating positive interactions and when eye contact faded the couples began to struggle.

Now this is interesting enough in it’s own right and then in 2005 Fredrickson & Losada applied the same research methodology to business teams and found the same results – teams with a 5:1 ratio of positive interactions were successful in meeting their goals and reported better interpersonal relationships.

So, this week take a moment to think about your business relationships and ask yourself what the ratio might be for you? Do you make positive eye contact and smile? Do you both repair the effects of a mean-minded disagreement with plenty of positive interactions? We all have a part to play and we can all affect the success of our relationships.

Next week: Delegation Time