Author: admin

How many times have we agreed to meet someone at a specific time, only for them to be late …and we always suspected they would be, despite their assurances that this time they would be punctual? In my case, several – and I hold my hand up to being on both sides of this equation. Oops, sorry.

We don’t mean to be late of course, it’s just that the traffic was worse than we thought it would be, that interesting video on Facebook needed to be watched (how can we ever avoid cute kitties playing the piano), or that we simply dawdled for no good reason and are not going to share that.

Whatever the cause, it’s true to say that we had an imperfect contract. A contract is a mutual agreement, where both sides discuss their expectations and arrive at a workable consensus that they agree to stick to. It’s a basic building block of successful leadership, where task setting and commercial deals need to be arranged in an orderly fashion.

However, sometimes we fail to disclose things at the discussion stage. Maybe we don’t wish to offend the other person and think if we email them later it will have less impact. Perhaps our line leader has a powerful personality and although they are asking for our input, the reality is they stopped listening 0.001 seconds after they set the task. It could be that we don’t wish to reveal ignorance, or lack of experience, or are just someone who needs time to reflect and are denied this in the moment.

Whatever is going on in the conversation, if we don’t both put all our cards on the table, then we may have what is called psychological distance. We nod in agreement, but secretly inside us we are saying something else. We might be sitting face to face and yet our fears and worries put distance between us. When we have psychological distance then it’s highly likely that the contract will break down in full, or in part.

At this point a contract isn’t a contract, because the secret stuff is going to get in the way and derail it.

If we know our friend is always late then what’s the point of holding them to a specific time? It only creates tension and resentment and is a little game we don’t need to keep playing. If we ask our staff for their opinion and then refuse to listen to it, we cant blame them if the work goes awry.

Instead we need to be honest, or if that is too tricky, we need to be factual. Reminding someone of their actual time-keeping effectiveness isn’t rude, it’s simply stating the facts and creating awareness. Asking them which time works best for them invites them to think and gets their buy in.

It’s the same with teams. When we set a task it’s okay to ask our colleague if they feel competent, have the resources they need and to find out what deadline is workable to them. Too many leaders ask for work ‘asap’ or ‘for the end of the week’ with no real understanding of the workload their colleague already has. Taking time to talk about their capacity and to explore ways of meeting organisational needs leads to much better contracting, and thence to better outcomes and greatly reduced opportunities for frustration.

This week, think about any contract you make with a friend or colleague. Ask yourself if you have really talked it through, or just rushed at it? If you need to, take a moment, smile, and share your worries because this will invite them to disclose theirs and the psychological distance will decrease. Bad contracts lead to bad outcomes and we can all learn from the past in order to create good contracts. Have fun!

Next week: Working On Or Working In?

I know we are all big kids really and that when nobody is looking we sling a CD into the drive, crank up the volume and have a good thrash on our air guitar. Or is that just me? Whatever you do, it’s likely that you will access the playful child that lurks within and mess about for a few minutes. All good, healthy fun!

I’m sure you were a child once and went to school and enjoyed the joy (or in my case hell) of double maths. However, I was always amazed that Wednesday was, without fail, games afternoon when at this time of year I could be found cowering in the mud on a rugby pitch, trying not to be spotted by the bigger boys, who would take endless pleasure in treating me like a skittle and sending me back into the mud. I didn’t even have to be holding the ball for this to happen, it just seemed that some of us were not cut out for rugby and I was most certainly not.

On the up side we did know what was required of us, even if we didn’t sometimes enjoy the lessons. We knew when lesson breaks were, what the rules were regarding socks (heaven help you if you chose to wear white ones and get caught) and so despite the odd mud-bath, school was a safe and generally genial place to be.

We had structure in our lives and children need structure. It brings safety into their world and when children feel safe they learn better, play better and generally enjoy life.

So it is with us big kids, who have swapped the rugby pitch for the office and double maths for a long paper-strewn meeting. We still need structure in our lives, in order to feel safe and perform better.

We need to know what is expected of us. Although this sounds obvious, I’ve encountered several examples recently of senior people who have been promoted and are still waiting for a job description and a clear sense of what the organisational priorities are. Make no mistake, just because someone has a grey beard and two children, doesn’t mean they can suddenly operate in a vacuum, or simply ‘work it out’ for themselves.

Structure is needed at all levels and at all times for people to know what the organisation is paying them for. Without it, people can drift, feel uncertain and allow their confidence to wane. They can become demoralised and may even begin to harbour thoughts of leaving for the green grass across the road.

And if you don’t feel you need structure so, therefore, don’t pay attention to it in others, I dare you to teach a class of five year old children and refuse to answer their questions, or tell them anything about the lesson. Madness, you might cry, and rightly so. Adults are all big kids at heart and we all need to have clear structure.

This week take a look around your team. Who has been promoted and is waiting for you to deliver their new job description to them? Who is working hard, but is unsure of the targets they will be measured against at their annual appraisal? Maybe we might need to ask some questions ourselves and be active, rather than passive.

Good business is build around good structure and we would do well to pay heed to the happy five year olds, who will be running the world for us in 30 years time.

Have fun with structure! And remember that it doesn’t limit creativity either, because safety allows people to explore.

Next week: When A Contract Isn’t A Contract