Author: admin

It must be tough being a bull, always carrying about some literal horns of a dilemma. Even worse, if you’re of a bovine persuasion, is that you can’t take advantage of a nifty little way to solve a problem. Perhaps you can find a helpful human, or similar biped, equipped with opposable thumbs, to help you out.

We all bump into difficult choices and these can really bend our head, as our thinking twists and turns. We often think we are thinking, when in fact we are mixing a small amount of cognitive processing with a large slice of more subconscious feeling and somatic response.

Our Somatic Child (which is a term from Transactional Analysis) is the little child that ‘lives’ in the Child Ego State and this tiny person carries with them a memory of felt sense, often retained from the love and contact from our early childhood. I should add that in TA terms we can think can and feel from all sorts of places, and we need to account for the fact that a TA model is a model and although models are a useful peg to hang our intellectual hat on, we are all complex and multi-layered individuals.

The point is that we can think we know ourselves, but often forget that memories and feelings are tucked deep inside, sometimes just out of our awareness. When we ‘think’ in order to solve a problem we often access these feelings to help us form our decisions.

If a problem is evenly balanced, or has the potential to take us in two very different directions, we can struggle to find clarity. Hardly surprising really, when we stop to consider the billions of cells between our ears, all firing off at once and doing their best to align memories and feelings with facts and patterns of thinking. It must be jolly hard work being a brain!

Often the best solutions are the simple ones and we have an option before us, that will have the bull of despair shaking his horns of confusion with annoyance. If only he had a) thumbs and b) a coin he could resolve his dilemma.

When we’re stuck we can take a coin in our hand, sit with someone and explain our issue to them. Having someone to share with increases the pressure on us and means we are less likely to cheat the outcome. Then we have to clearly state what the two options and outcomes are and which side of the coin will give us which confirmed choice.

Flip the coin!

Do it just the once. No ‘best of three’ or making out your hand slipped and you need to do a ‘proper flip’. This is a one-shot deal.

As the coin spins in the air we are likely to experience a moment of clarity and will hope the coin lands on a particular side . If it does, all well and good. If it doesn’t and we find ourselves staring gloomily at the wrong outcome, then great – we now know what our heart’s desire really is.

So, next time you are stuck, find a friend, pull out a coin and flip it. One flip. That’s all we might need to gain clarity.

Next week: Prosecco And Profiteroles

Our body is a masterpiece of bio-engineering. Imagine a motor that runs for 100 years without needing a service and you have a heart. Imagine a structure that is strong, flexible, dependable and can be repaired and you have a skeleton. Imagine a computer so subtle that it can store sight and sound and smell and you have a brain.

We function smoothly and without us really thinking about how it all happens when we are in alignment, physically and psychologically.

From time to time we might struggle and find the days long and life uncomfortable when we are out of alignment. For reasons to do with a lack of core strength maybe and previous poor posture my back sometimes decides to award itself a duvet day and makes life tricky.

Standing is fine once stood and sitting is fine once sat. Transitioning between these two poles though can be a nuisance and I start to realise what a marvellous thing a back is and how we need to look after it. A few months ago I was dusting and crunch it went into spasm and then I was shuffling about like a broken tree for a couple of weeks. One Monday morning I felt like the oldest person in the shop, when choosing a new smartphone, as I struggled to sit-stand-walk-sit between various desks whilst surrounded by spy pensioners, all ballet dancing around as they chose their new phones.

Backs are a good metaphor for people in general and when they go out of alignment something needs to be done. When people are out of alignment with the values of their organisation then trouble brews. When people are out of alignment with the skills required for their role they can expend huge amounts of time and energy struggling to keep pace.

When organisations make changes to roles, or promote people, there is often a fallout in terms of alignment. People need time to adjust to the changes, or can struggle to perform at a level, or in a niche that they are not really cut out for.

Tell-tale signs of misalignment would be fatigue, both at work and when we get home, irritability, sudden desire to quit and do something else, or the failure of a previously effective team member to shine in a new role.

If we are suffering we can take time to think. If we have a colleague who seems to be out of step we can take an objective look at their performance and create options to support them find their feet. Maybe we have to change their role, or find them some coaching.

A few years ago a client of mine was out of alignment, doing two jobs and struggling to keep all the plates spinning. After one coaching session, it was obvious that a sharp change of course was needed and her organisation removed one of the roles and reassigned it. This was not a failure …it was a successful change and within a week she was back to her old self, her productivity had increased and once more she became a valued and respected part of the team.

Who do you know who is struggling? What is the truth that lurks and needs to be aired and discussed?

Alignment is ace and if you don’t have it, then a change is needed.

Next week: Coin Toss Clarity