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The Joy Of Sadness

18 April 2016

Although friends can mean well and jolly us along during tough times, it can be helpful to know that real sadness is a real emotion and worth exploring. There are reputed to be four basic emotions – happy / sad / mad (angry) / scared – which underpin all the other combinations. These are genuine corners of our soul and we can help ourselves to be a rounded and grounded person by getting in touch with all of them.

However, people often display what’s called racket behaviours. A racket is a protection racket, where we project an emotion that is socially acceptable in order to shield us from distain if we reveal the truth underneath.

Many people show anger when they really feel sadness. Often because in their upbringing crying equals weakness, but it’s ok to be angry and shout at someone, because that shows strength! Other people cry when they are scared, and so their friends soothe them, without ever discovering what the scare was about and offering grounded commentary, facts and options to help their chum make progress.

This is the joy of sadness – if we are sad then we can feel it, look at it and share it, with people we trust. Sadness is often overlaid by anger, so the next time your friend is angry, wonder what’s really going on for them.

I’ve learned that sadness is part of love and I’d rather take both than have neither.

What could you share with a special friend?

Next week: Self Soothing For Beginners