One way to be heard...or you could tweet

I was asked this question at a recent workshop and my answer was; it’s a stroke rich environment. Simples.

In Transactional Analysis a ’stroke’ is defined as a unit of recognition and we all have a need for recognition as an essential human hunger (Berne, 1966). I know the term ’stroke’ has a medical meaning, but in this context it refers to the act of recognising our self or others. Think of it like stroking a cat; if you move from head to tail you might get a little buzzy purr and a happy kitty. Go from tail to head and you can lose a finger. Cats know all about strokes!

Twitter provides us (I like tweeting) with a chance to be heard and to be acknowledged. We don’t have to be saying anything smart, we can just be present and can have our existence validated.

All of the smiles we get, the banter and the electronic ‘hugs’ are real and genuine strokes. People on Twitter bank them, share them and relive them as their timeline flows and people comment and laugh and cry together.

If you’re sitting at home looking for a job, or in an office on your own, or raising children, or simply wading through the daily treacle of life, you too can have as many healthy strokes as you need.

Twitter is for real people. It works because when you write something you are noticing yourself first and that’s a good source of strokes. It works because you can have company when you’re physically isolated (stroke deprived). It works because people hand out strokes freely and the networks of Tweeters support and encourage each other.

There’s a big bonus too. Increasingly people are using Twitter as a source of business because people buy from people and chatting is a great way to develop relationships. I’m not talking here about the spam from multi-level marketing organisations (mlm) who can make you rich by clicking here!! (If it was that easy would I be writing this and would you be reading it?) What I mean is good old fashioned networking; talking to people, making friends, gaining trust and then doing business.

All these strokes can be great for our health and well-being and for our bank balance too.

And you can have all this for free. Twitter works because real people can really be present and get real, healthy strokes. Find me on Twitter at @RichardMaun and tell me what strokes you need. We can have a Twitter #strokeparty.

The Famous Crenshaw Hand Car Wash in LA

In the Summer I was miserable. I’m not afraid to admit that I have feelings. Feelings are good and without them life is simply a dull conveyor belt of experiences without depth or meaning.

I was miserable that business had declined, that a course I loved teaching on had ended and that the Summer was over. And then…

…And then I remembered that if a previous job hadn’t finished I would not have had a business to be miserable about… and this prompted me into thinking that endings can be good, as they clear the way for new and interesting opportunities to flourish. Feeling miserable was my wayof marking the end of some good times, a kind of inner car wash for the Volvo of my soul. Cars and souls need a bit of a scrub up sometimes.

Not knowing exactly what to do next, I decided to do several things and see were they led. I joined a new networking group called The Best of Norwich and taught myself how to use Twitter, Bitly, Facebook ads and Google ads, booked a few speculative meetings and even managed to play a minor scale on my bass guitar… And now?

Now, my diary is filling up. I have two new clients, my books have been marketed effectively and I have a couple of interesting career opportunities to play with. All because I allowed myself to feel miserable and come to a stop, rather than brushing my feelings aside and plodding on in the same old direction.

So let’s hear it for Misery! A useful emotion that can help us to find new directions!