Happy Christmas and you can watch Brian, if you really must! Caw!

Caw caw! It’s me Crow! And by ‘eck it’s reet cold out there! (Caw! I seem to have gone all Northern for a moment; that’s what sitting in a cold tree does to you!) I’m standing in for Richard, who says he’s writing some great book, but I think he’s secretly writing to Santa! Ha! What’s he like, getting me to do all this typing?

…And with my frozen beak too… I should have sub-contracted this gig to a pigeon. They’re too stupid to notice if they whittle away their beak on a keyboard.

Where was I? Oh yes, my thought for the week.

Well, I would say goodwill and peace to all birds, except pigeons. But that’s a bit obvious and since that total cheapskate Richard has spent the entire Christmas card budget on a seasonal video featuring Brian, I don’t have much goodwill to spare. Caw! You can click here to watch it. But personally I wouldn’t bother. Brian is such a poseur in those boots. And so wooden too!

The part should have gone to a bird of course; a crow would have been a good choice. But am I bitter? No. In fact I never talk about it.

Oh yes and before I forget, here’s my thought, which I think will help me to get over the Brian thing:

This week is going to be a busy one, with lots of stress and a busy schedule. Particularly if you’ve got the rookery coming over for lunch. Relatives eh! So I suggest you stop. At least one day this week give yourself 5 minutes off and sit quietly, or perch on a branch, with your eyes closed. Promise me you will?

Take a deep breath and then exhale gently and relax your arms (or wings). Just allow yourself to pause and feel grounded and peaceful.

And as you do this, think of one thing that you did well this year. Or perhaps think of a happy memory, or about some time you spent with a special person. If you want to have a 15 minute break you could do all three!

Relax and be calm and enjoy 5 minutes just for you. Stroke yourself for a year well done.

That’s my thought! Great isn’t it!

Oh and a Very Happy Christmas from me and Richard. Be good!

See you next week and thanks for reading the blog this year! Caw!

Tags: Brian, calm, Christmas, Crow

C'mon, proper kisses only! You know you want to...

Caw caw! I’m back! Hello humans it’s me, Crow! I’m back for three weeks. Richard has wandered off to think great thoughts and get on with his book, apparently. Personally I think that’s all nonsense; my hunch is he’s just slumped in a chair somewhere sleeping great thoughts… Caw!

Oh and if we’ve not met before, I’m Richard’s handler. He thinks it’s the other way round, but what does he know? I like to help people develop their presentation skills and help them understand more about Ego States. If I squawk, well that’s just me being a friendly sort of bird.

…And if I was on Twitter (which I am sort of, in the big field where I park my beak sometimes) my bio would say; Bird. Fluffy. Fun. Likes to say Caw! Hates pigeons. Tweet me (unless you’re a pigeon).

Oh, caw! I need to write something don’t I…was forgetting that. Well here goes my blog…

We can’t avoid the fact that Christmas is nearly on us and for us birds it’s a fairly miserable time of year….I’m just glad I’m not a turkey, or a goose, or a duck. I mean, why not have half a dozen pigeons instead? They’re so stupid, they’d probably jump into the oven for you…where was I…oh yes my point.

Well my point is that lots of birds do that silly air-beak-kissing thing and squawk ‘happy Christmas’ without much meaning. I find it so annoying and if any pigeons try it on, they’re likely to get knocked out of the tree. Silly birds.

I heard a great word the other day called ‘authentic’ which apparently means ‘expressing yourself honestly and sincerely, without editing’. To me that means wishing love to those birds who you really love (not pigeons of course) and giving my friends and family proper warm hugs and not thin seasonal squeezes. I trust them to know I mean it and they hug me back just as hard, which for a crow in a cold field, is the best thing.

So, if you love someone; tell them. If you’re writing a card, or sending a message, or email, be authentic and share your happy feelings with them, knowing that they will receive them and smile. And none of that silly air-beak stuff either. Proper kisses with feeling, or none at all. Caw!

Right, that’s enough slush…I’m off to annoy some pigeons and see if Richard is dribbling as he ‘thinks’. See you next week for more crow-wisdom. Caw caw!

Tags: authenticity, Christmas, Crow

Probably the best Christmas card in the world...

Hello there and I hope that you’re not suffering too much under the extra workload that this time of year brings. It’s been terrible for me so far, as I’ve had to eat at least 20 mince pies…my days are already busy enough, without needing to find time to scoff extra confectionery. Preferably warm, with lashings of cream please…

However, I did make the effort to go to a meeting with Marshall Cavendish last week, to hobnob with fellow authors and work out how we could sell more books. Apart from having a great conversation about the use of the semi colon and finding out what makes for a great cover image, I did pick up some useful sales tips from a chap called Bob Etherington, who’s written several cracking books on the subject. Seeing that Christmas is the season of giving, I thought I’d give you my choice of some of his top tips. I won’t gift wrap them though, to save paper.

Here they are:

1. Start your sentences with a word that ends in ‘ly’, such as ‘Probably the best soft skills blog in the world’. Or: Surely the only soft skills blog you’ll ever need. This construction tends to shut off any doubt people have about your product or service. It may feel a bit cheesy at first, but it does generate a huge halo of confidence.

2. Use the word ‘because’ because when you do so people are more likely to buy in to your argument and be convinced. For example; this is probably the best soft skills blog in the world, because it only talks about what works in real life and includes elements of Transactional Analysis to bring depth and insight to the weekly posts.

3. Say it simply. The key to sales success is to have a short, relevant, message which highlights what you are genuinely passionate about and really deliver to your clients. This message is likely to be something you find yourself saying often, and don’t recognise that it’s a core attribute of your business. I was reminded of this during the author meeting when asked to tell people what kind work I did and I replied; ‘I build confidence’.

Primary People is now working with Chilli Pepper Global to bring outplacement services to industrial and service sector clients. We were asked why someone should invest in us and our answer was because we’re;

Probably the best confidence builders in the business.

That’s what we do to a high standard, because we passionately believe everyone has the ability to succeed.

What are you the best at? How would you summarise your competitive edge in 10 words or less? And most importantly; do you make time for mince pies?

That’s enough questions for now. Don’t you think? So, thank you from me for being part of a fantastic year of blog posts. I really do think this is the best soft skills blog in the world, because if I didn’t I wouldn’t spend hours writing and honing it each week. Fortunately for me though, I have my feathery guest blogger to keep my feet on the ground. He’s back next week for a while to cover for me whilst I take a festive break. I do hope he’s not too rude about me.

Happy Christmas, sincere good wishes to you and I look forward to seeing you again in 2011.

- Richard -

Tags: Christmas, sales, tip

Ignore what's on the sofa... It's what's down the back that really matters.

Are you looking for a job? Or working as a coach? Or about to agree with your partner what you will be doing over Christmas? (Too in-law, or not to in-law, as Hamlet famously said)…

Clear contracting can help us in all of these diverse situations and by a ‘contract’ I’m referring to a mutual agreement. Transactional Analysis, a subject close to my heart, is often described as a ‘contracted psychotherapy’ and puts clear contracting the heart of the client-consultant relationship. It has much to say on the subject and what follows is based on the work of Berne, Hay and English.

When we’re offered a job we need to agree expectations and terms, if we’re coaching someone we shouldn’t be working if there’s no contract and if we don’t sit down and talk things through with our partner then Christmas can be a disaster.

So, I have 5 Top Tips to offer this week, which we can all use to make sure we have really robust contracts with people. Here they are:

1) Name your frustrations, concerns, likes, or dislikes. Doing this gives people permission to name theirs. We all have them, so we may as well get them on the table, where we can see them, poke them and include them in our thinking. These are the ‘fish’ in the title and we will come back to them later on.

2) Think about the issue of competency. Are you competent do the work? Is the other person competent to take part? I recently had pass an opportunity on to a colleague because a client wanted me to run a workshop that I wasn’t fully competent to do. What was the point in doing 60% of a job, when my colleague could work to 100% of the client’s needs?

3) Talk about contracting. It’s a word that needs to be in our everyday language. We use the word a good deal at home; not to be smug, but because we lead busy lives and need to agree diaries, kids pick-up times, food requirements and so on. It saves a lot of heartache and grumpiness later, so why not make it part of your lexicon?

4) The success of the contract is determined at the psychological level. This is a posh way of saying that if you agree to something that you really don’t want to do then you’ll probably either not do it, or will make such a fuss that a row breaks out and the work fails. The first top tip says ‘name your frustrations’ because of this. If you talk about what’s inside you can deal with it and I’d rather have a harder talk now and a better Christmas, than the other way round…

5) Check understanding. I think a lack of clear understanding causes more rows than anything else. For example, a chum told me that last Christmas she invited her sister over for lunch, to arrive ‘around 2 o’clock’. The sister rolled up at a whisker before 3, without bothering to telephone ahead to let them know where she was. Was she late? Should she have called? Well, all roads lead back to the contract and the need to make sure people are clear. Who do you need to check things with to make sure you’re both clear for your Christmas dinner?

Lots of people think that ‘contracting’ is all about discussing and agreeing the obvious things, such as time/date/place, but the really smart people do this and go the extra distance to talk about their fears, or worries, or limitations in order to add them into the mix.

I call these things ‘stinking fish’ because they’re like having a kipper down the back of the sofa. You know it’s there. You can smell it. You might ignore it, but the smell persists…The only thing you can do is to reach for it, pull it out and deal with it.

So, what do you have to deal with this week, in order to achieve a really good contract with someone? Who do you need to sit down with to re-visit an existing agreement? What fish lurk down the back of your psychic-sofa?

We all have fish, so smile, pluck them out and talk about them. That’s the real secret of successful contracting.

Oh Yes, That Promo Video…have you seen it yet?

Los Penguin Productions have posted the  Job Hunting Blues video on YouTube so please click through and enjoy it. It features Brian, our resident stunt man and he was great to work with, a real pro. Do you like his boots? And he was very happy to be able to read his own special, little copy of the book Job Hunting 3.0. If you know someone who is looking for work then please point them at Amazon where they can read reviews and order a copy of the big book.

This week: Would you find a friend for me please?

If you know someone who would be interested in this blog post please forward it to them, or ReTweet it, or let them know they can subscribe to regular emails via the box on the homepage. Many thanks.

Next Week

…we will consider one thing that can really smooth the process of contracting. I like doing it…

Tags: Christmas, contracting, fish, Job Hunting