better business blog

Tips and stories to add value to you and your organisation

Conflict, People And Task

28 May 2018

The world is full of conflict and strife. Well known intergalactic presidents cosying up to eachother and then falling out, because one said they had a better set of patio furniture than the other. Then they make up and agree that all patio furniture is open for negotiation.

Maybe this approach confirms why I’m not a president myself. I just don’t have time for all the tweeting either.

However, conflict is part of the nature of human existence and I’m sure, despite lots of effort, man hasn’t yet found a magic answer to solve this.

And by man I mean woman too. Conflict is gender neutral.

When we are in conflict with someone we have a choice.

We can either focus on the task at the expense of the relationship or we can focus on the relationship. Or both.

Lots of people tend to complete the task and mop up the damage afterwards, which can have a cumulative effect and ruin a healthy relationship.

To keep things simple this week and to allow us all to go and enjoy the bank holiday sunshine, my thinking is this…

Start with the relationship. Be warm. Listen to what the other person is worred about. Put our own fears to one side for a moment and let them speak. Say ‘I hear you’ so they really know they have been listened to.

Then ask if they will listen and share our own issues.

Once these are all out in the open we have built a solid foundation for tackling the task.

As we focus on a win-win we can keep checking in with the other person to ensure new concerns haven’t arisen. If they have we can listen again.

Balancing task with the relationship is a healthy way to resolve conflict and ensure we get the patio furniture we both really desire.

Next week: What’s Your Plan?