How Not To Coach People
Paddington Station: Watch out for fairies. And bears.
I was told this story the other day by a colleague and just had to treat you to it, if only because it is true and, from my perspective as a coach who likes to build a safe environment; appalling. My colleague dubs this work ‘fairy coaching’ and I tend to agree with him, on the basis that it falls into the happy-clappy-hessian-knitted-teepee brand of coaching which can give life/business coaching a bad name. See what you think, here’s the story:
At his place of work my colleague has an MD who likes to hire the services of a particular ‘coach’ to help team development and promote harmony. The ‘coach’ likes to get people down and dirty on bean bags, which is not always the best way to make people feel comfortable (the client should choose, not the coach). Last month the team were treated to a new way to confront their fears. They all caught the train into London and when they disembarked at Paddington a soap-box was produced and one by one the team had to stand on it and shout out their fears to bemused commuters.
Yes really!
I had thought this kind of misguided exercise had been binned at the end of the 90’s, along with suspect outward-bound style management ‘bonding’ weekends, which only served to create ill-feeling amongst staff and in no way replicated the working life of the business. (I’ve been on three of these and having learned to abseil, found that this wasn’t a great deal of help when trying to plan a complex factory).
No New Learning
Having finished on the soap-box what did my colleague learn? Only to avoid the police, who asked the group to “Move along please” as a shop owner complained they were blocking her flower stall. The experience also confirmed my colleague’s suspicions about ’fairy coaching’ and as for team harmony, well you can guess the general reaction to the stunt.
Safety Counts
Coaching starts with clear contracting to build a safe environment. If there isn’t a contract then in the words of an experienced Supervisor: “You don’t do no coaching.” If only more people understood this and realised that coaching is client-centred, not ego-centred, then the world and my colleague would both be a bit happier.
Tagged as: coaching · contracting · How To
Thanks for sharing this Richard! This is exactly the type of story that makes me wish I could come up with another name for coaching and somehow divorce myself from some parts of the ‘industry’! Smacks of Emperor’s new clothes syndrome … but, what worries me more is that the MD was taken in by it all!
Richard,
This is wonderful in a horribly fascinating way. I would have loved to be there to see it, though I would have absolutely refused to participate – I don’t think any job is worth that amount of public humiliation. What would crow have had to say!!!!
Hi Margaret and thanks for the comment…I agree that the MD has been taken in by something which is patently unsafe! I too wish we could come up with another name for coaching and put some clear water between ourselves and the fluffy parts of the industry!
Hi Gerry…good to hear from you and Crow would have made a fuss and refused to take part! Public humiliation is beyond belief as a means of ‘developing’ people, but sadly these things seem to still be with us.
Fantastic stuff – if only more people would stand up to the sheer rubbish that is done in the name of coaching and training.
I was particularly interested in the “having learned to abseil, found that this wasn’t a great deal of help” comment. I actively use outdoor activities on about 50% on the courses I deliver, but the essential aspect has always got to be helping delegates translate what goes on into their real, actual, practical working environment. If not, it’s simply a nice (or, for some, nasty!) day out.
Part of me appreciates the benefit of other training companies not understanding this, but it is a real challenge to get the message across clearly that you are different, and not to allow your image to be muddied by the waters of others.
Thanks for your comment Simon and I agree that the thing with outdoor stuff is to connect it back to working life. In my experience these activities are often run by outdoor experts who try to bolt-on the learning afterwards, rather than having it built it. This is different to being an expert in, say, leadership, who uses these activities to make learning memorable. I’ve had experience of several of these courses and only one was relevant to work (at The Leadership Trust). The others did more harm than good and were a waste of time and money. So, I wish you well in your efforts to stand up to the rubbish…if you come across any stories do let me know and I can add them to this blog. Good fortune to you and thanks again.
Lol you’re kidding right
No, it’s for real. Sadly. Some people who call themselves a ‘coach’ really are taking money under false pretences and ought to stop. As Eric Berne said: “Above all else, do no harm.” He was right!
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